Martel's Drunken Fools
by Sirens And Muses
Summary: She hoped they got hangovers in the morning... Random and full of private jokes. It's a little out of character.Rated T because fate is conspiring against you.


**Siren: Once upon a time, we were sitting in my basement, listening to a Rehab CD, and we got to The Bartender Song.**

**Muse: And thus, this was born.**

**Siren: FYI, this was _going_ to be yaoi.**

**Muse: But I hate yaoi and wouldn't let her.**

**Siren: I hate Stevenson, but you don't hear me blabbing about it in my author's notes, do you?**

**Muse: (sigh) Say the disclaimer.**

**Siren: Sirens & Muses do not own Tales of Symphonia. In fact, we don't own anything. You know my truck****? Yeah, that's really my brother in law's. He just wanted it out of his yard. It was free.**

**Muse: Oh, so that's why it sucks total ass.**

**Siren: Don't make fun of my truck! (slaps with a poptart) It's awesome!**

**Muse: It has no seatbelts, heater, or passenger side door!**

**Siren: Review, please!**

* * *

"Yuan and Kratos aren't back yet, are they?" Martel looked nervously out the window. She paced back and forth. It wasn't like them to be this late when training.

Mithos sat on his sister's bed, reading. "I'm sure they'll be back soon, sis." He looked up. "Hey, I've been meaning to ask you, why don't you and Yuan get two beds in your room, like me and Kratos? Doesn't it get crowded-?"

"Oh, look!" Martel said hastily. "I think that's them."

As she dashed out of the hotel to meet them, Mithos went back to his book. "Weird."

Outside, Martel squinted. The two silhouettes looked like them, but it was strange for them to be acting goofy like that. Usually, they were serious with each other.

The duo came into clear view, laughing and shoving each other. Kratos' arm was slung over Yuan's shoulder, as if he were being supported, as if they were…

"Are you two drunk?!"

In response, the two men bursted into peels of drunken laughter.

"You are, aren't you?" Martel slapped Yuan across the face. "I can't believe you two! Mithos and I were up half the night, worried sick about you!" She turned and stormed into the hotel. She reached her room and shut the door behind her. There was a _click_ as she locked it.

"Hey, wait, Mratel-oops-Martel, hang on!" Yuan chased after her, leaving Kratos to fall to the ground in hysterical laughter.

Yuan began to call through the door. "I fluv you, um, love you!" He tried to pull the door open, but it did no good.

In the meantime, Kratos had pulled himself up and followed Yuan. "Yuan, I think islocked." He leaned against his friend. "I get the feeling she's mad at us."

"Just a little!" Martel called out. "You idiots go out and get drunk-!"

"Just a little!" Yuan yelled back at her.

After an hour of trying to coax Martel into opening the door, Yuan gave up. "Kratos." He nudged the man, who'd fallen asleep on the floor, leaning against the wall. He snorted and rolled over. "Kratos!" Yuan kicked him.

"Imawake!" Kratos sat up abruptly and blinked.

"Give me your room key. Martel's still pissed at us."

Kratos squinted up at him. "I, uh, can't."

"What do you mean, you can't?"

"Mithos has, um, it." Kratos rubbed his neck. "I gave it to him so that he could get in."

"Great." Yuan plopped himself down next to Kratos. "Great."

"Yuan?"

"What?"

"We're locked outta our room, arenwe?"

"Gee, you think? Good job giving Mithos that key."

"Good job pissing your fiance off."

"You didn't help any."

"Wasn't it you who said, 'we got done with our training early, let's go get a drink'?"

"Is it my fault you kept ordering more liquor?"

"Is it my fault you're a total jackass?"

Yuan shoved Kratos. "Shuddup."

Kratos shoved him back. "Jackass."

Yuan slapped Kratos. "Bastard."

Kratos slammed his fist into Yuan's stomach, who fell over on his back. "Pompous son of a bitch."

Yuan waved his hand at Kratos. "Ah, I'm too drunk to fight you right now."

"I can live with that." Kratos laid down on the floor, stretching out and accidentally smacking his foot against Yuan's head.

"Hey!" Yuan sat up and gave him a Charlie horse.

"Ow!" Kratos grabbed his leg and glared at Yuan.

"Shouldn't have kicked me."

"It was an accident!"

"Yeah, right." Yuan laid back down.

"This isn't." Kratos gave Yuan a swift kick in the groin.

Yuan gave a loud yelp and curled into a ball. When the pain had subsided, he sat up and yanked Kratos up to eye level. "If you _ever_ do that again," he growled, "I will beat your ass so hard, your nose'll bleed when you sit."

"Go ahead, try it."

Yuan decked him and put him in a chokehold. Kratos grabbed his pinky fingers and yanked them. With a gasp of pain, Yuan released him. Kratos took the opportunity to slam Yuan's face onto the floor.

For the next several minutes, the two scuffled with each other, eventually ending up with Yuan lying on his stomach, with Kratos on top of him, pinning his arms behind his back. The door opened, revealing Martel standing above them. Without saying a word, she tossed a key onto the floor and went back inside, locking the door behind her.

Kratos released Yuan's arms and dove for the key. He leapt up and ran for the door.

"Bye, buddy." Kratos slammed the door in Yuan's face and locked it.

"Open the door, you bastard!" Yuan pounded his fist on the door. "Hey! Open the damn door!"

His fist slammed against the door as Kratos laughed from behind it. "I think I won the fight, Yuan!"

Yuan hit the door harder, swearing at Kratos. Then, there was a splintering crack, and the door had a fist-shaped hole in it. "Oops."

The two men stared at each other in silence through the hole for a few seconds before they started laughing hysterically.

From inside her room, Martel heard the entire event. She shook her head at them. "Drunken fools." She loved Yuan, but she was not going to pay for that door.


End file.
